What's your price?
And remember, I am dangerous.
I want to meet the Wild Bunch.
See that man sitting on the sofa?
- Oh, the queen who's screwing me out. - Yeah.
- It's a bit hard to miss him. - Do me a favor.
- Go and chat him up, will you? - Fuck off, who do you think I am?
No, no, he's a bigtime lawyer who reckons he knows about an informer...
...in our part of town.
Now, you were facing a five-stretch.
And I figured you might be interested, ain't it?
Mm-hm.
- Hey. - How you doing?
All right.
- So we got another job on again. - Yeah?
Same one as before.
Cor, it's all going down in here. It's the den of iniquity, I tell you.
I hear you have a secret.
And by the looks of you, you have more than one.
I don't want to talk about work.
If you tell me who this informer is, then we can talk about anything you want.
I gotta get myself a breath of fresh air. Catch you...
Oi, One Two, I owe you one.
This lot are doing more bugle than a brass section.
- I'm happy for you, Cookie. - Yeah.
If he's an informer, you'll have his depositions, poems.
My, my, not just a pretty face.
How'd you know about those sort of things?
Give me your mobile.
- What? - You heard me.
Do as you're told.
Ooh.
That's nice.
Here, we'll go for a drink next week, and I'll tell you all about it.
All I need is some paperwork.
Wait up, sing-along.
Where's the rush?
All right.
- What's wrong? - Get that Archy on the phone.
- I think we got a problem. - What?
How much is it gonna cost if we shut down tonight?
- Eleven thousand, three hundred... - All right.
Go out there and see what's going down.
You, what do you think you're doing?
What do you think? We're trying to get in.
Go home, wasters.
- It costs money to get in here. - Yes, I'm aware of that, my good man.
Mr. Archy.
No, you can't shut us down. We got an act on.
- And I'm interested? - We got a band on-stage right now.
- Find him. - I understand.
Listen, but I have to keep the club open. You hear that shit?
Run along, junkies.
Oi, lookie but no touchy.
Get off of him, you slag.
He is absolute class.
I gotta keep the club open. We got 400 people in here.
Leave it, John. I'm happy.
I'm all right down here, mate. Let's call it a night, eh?
- I'll fucking show him happy. - Oh, no.
Fancy some more talent, boy?
I'd like to make a complaint. What's your name?
Jog on, boy, before I grind your bones to make my bread.
Night, night.
- Fucking mutt. - Look at this, man.
- It's a damn revolution going on outside. - No shit.
If we wanna keep our license and the lights on, we gotta go find Cookie.
We'll put rock salt in the shells, stick them in the revolver.
If they get large, we'll bang a couple into them, should slow them down.
And they won't know the difference.
And then Bob's our driver, and...
- I don't wanna use Bob. - What?
- I don't want to use Bob. - He's our driver.
The Wild Bunch is not complete without the driver.
No.
What's happened between you and Bob, then?
Mumbles, there is something about Bob that I don't think you know.
What's that, then? That he's a poof?
- How the fuck did you know that? - Come on, everyone knows he's a flamer.
You're the only one that doesn't. No. He likes the boys.
It's sausage and beans all day long, mate.
What the fuck are you talking about?
- Did he make a pass at you? - Yes, he fucking did.
So, what's the problem?
It was supposed to be his last night. You took care of him.
That's what friends do for one another. Well done.
And I won't tell the chaps.
What the fuck do you mean? You won't tell the chaps what?
So, what did you do? Did you suck his...?
Hey, hey, that's enough, all right?
What the fuck is going on here?
What? Did you suck his...?
- You must have touched him. - No.
Hold on.
I'm not gay, all right, Mumbles?
He just asked if I wanted a dance, that's all.
Was it a slow dance?
What has he done to me?
Mr. One Two, I think there is something you should know about our Bob.
Who do you think looked after your mom before she died...
...when you was doing a two-stretch?
Because it wasn't me, and I'm your best fucking pal.
No, it was Bob.
Bob was around there six times a week making sure she was looked after.
You tore your mom's heart out when you went away. Bob did his best to put it back.
I tell you something, Mr. One Two.
If I could be half the human that Bob is at the price of being a poof...
...I'd think about it.
Not for too long, but I'd have to pause, you know?
And the kid looks up and goes, "Well, what do you fucking think? "
That joke was a lot funnier when I told it to you last week.
Can I have a word with you, Cookie?
Treacles, would you mind?
On your toes. Five minutes.
Hey.
We need to know where Johnny Quid is.
You should probably be the first to know, but isn't he...?
I know. Come on, you know and I know that nothing killed Johnny.
Come on, Cookie, you've been fucking his life up for the past five years.
Come on, show our boy a little love.
You ever bought a ticket to the junkies' boneyard, Roman?
It's an unpleasant place called curl up and die.
Might sound like a hair salon...
...but it don't fucking look like one, I can tell you.
It's a terrible sight, and a horrible sound listening to a man...
...sucking his soul through the hole in the pipe.
And even worse when he tries to tear it back.
I've been there, and I've done that.
He has been here, and he has done that.
And then I nailed that demon in a smoke-proof coffin.
And I did it all with Johnny.
I love that man.
He's what you call class.
If you had any brains, Roman, you'd love him too.
You know, his music sales have gone up a thousand percent in two weeks.
You see, Johnny, the crackhead knows...
...that a rocker is worth more dead than alive.
Silly world, isn't it?
Mr. Quid does not get his gear from me.
He has to travel far and wide.
But do leave me your number.
And if the dead feels like calling...
...you'll be the first to know.
I'll have the painting for you in a couple of days.
I had it locked up with some other goods. You know, I was keeping it safe.
And then Archy goes and loses the key.
Don't you, Arch?
So I'm not trying to be funny, but I've got this payment tonight...
...and if there's any chance of having the money...
Where the fuck has he gone, then?
I don't know. But I don't think he was too impressed with that story, Len.
Something wrong with these immigrants. I don't trust them.
I think we're being set up.
I don't know how, but something is wrong.
I can smell it with my sniffer.
He doesn't have the balls or the brains.
He's a crook. Small-time, backhanding crook.
I think he's trying to make fool out of you.
Adjourn the meeting.
Oh, my God, you're a mess.
There you go.
Are you all right?
That is a rhetorical question, I hope.
I'll have a water, please, with a big, long straw.
Thank you.
So you don't wanna know what happened?
Put it, put it. Cut it.
I know what happened.
- Don't go in there. - Mumbles.
Mace him.
Hollandaise?
I see you ordered already.
You were late.
The bastard's gonna hit me.
- Mace him, Mumbles. - What?
- Not me, you idiot. - What?
- I can't move my... - What?
This way, this way, this way.
Shouldn't you have taken precautions?
Precautions?
- Did you see that? - What happened?
God.
Well, it's your job, isn't it?
What are these guys made of?
I didn't realize.
Realize?
You didn't realize that they had guns?
Big, long, dangerous machine guns.
With war criminals attached to the trigger.
Please, stay down.
Just fuck off.
Get out of the fucking way now.
You know what, darling?
I'm just gonna leave this laundry bag here under the table for you, okay?
Fucking hell.
Shit.
Hold up.
Oh, my...
Oh, fucking hell.
Abandon ship.
Run for your lives.
Come on. Come on.
Come back with my bike, you dirty bastard.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
You're way too dangerous for me.
- Did I overdo it with the limp? - No, the limp was good.
She's a wild one.
She likes you, boy-o.
Rather her than you, Bob.
I don't care if he is fucking busy, Archy.
If we call, he answers. That's the deal.
Oh, there he is.
Oi, Councillor.
Councillor.
I'll see you at lunch.
Something wrong with your telephone?
Oh, I'm sorry. Shouldn't I be here?
I go wherever I fucking like because this is my town, not yours...
...no matter what you and your pen-pushing immigrant boy scouts might think.
So, what's going on?
Step in here.
I can't do it.
You've left it too long. You want something the city has a ruling against.
They wouldn't give permission to build.
Don't give me that shit.
I look out my window, I see 20 buildings...
...this city said they'd never build.
How did that happen? The termites got together for a building party, did they?
No, sunshine. It was backhanders putting them up.
Backhanders like mine.
Lenny's good for the money, Councillor. He always has been.
- So don't go getting cold feet. - I can't do it this time.
It's not fucking Zaire, Lenny.
Get off my bollocks, Lenny.
Don't you ever swear at me, you yellow puddle of immigrant piss...
...or I'll drown you in it.
You feel that, do you, Councillor?
You don't think there's a paper trail for all those gifts?
The cars, the holidays, the tennis courts, the swimming pools.
I own these bollocks.
And right now, they're more fragile than a pair of quail's eggs.
Now, get it done.
Pedro?
Come back here.
Where do you think you're going with that painting?
You never said it was your dad's, or whatever you wanna call him.
You've gotta give it back, John.
People are looking for it, bad people.
The streets are alive with the sound of pain.
You may have a point, Pete, but I can't give it up.
- You know why? - No. Why?
Meet me in the pub in two minutes.
I'll have that painting in a couple of days.
- You can trust me on that. -Good.
That's nice. I love a clear fairway.
That's a bit of me. That is...
So you like it out here, Lenny, don't you?
Oh, yeah. You can't beat the great outdoors, Uri.
But I don't understand it.
There's no one here.
That's because I have had the course cleared for us.
We are not going to be disturbed.
Victor, please, come to join us.
You see that pack of Virginia killing sticks on the end of the piano?
Yes.
All you need to know about life is retained within those four walls.
What are we going to do, Lenny?
Every time I am about to make my payment...
...something dishonest happens.
You wouldn't know anything, would you?
You will notice that one of your personalities
is seduced by the illusions of grandeur.
A gold packet of king size with a regal insignia.
An attractive implication toward glamour and wealth.
A subtle suggestion that cigarettes are indeed your royal and loyal friends.
And that, Pete, is a lie.
Excuse me? Are you trying to say something?
I'm not trying.
I am saying something.
Your other personality is trying to draw your attention to the flip side of the discussion.
Written in boring, bold, black and white, is the statement...
...that these neat little soldiers of death, are, in fact, trying to kill you.
And that, Pete, is the truth.
I think you forget who you're talking to, you insolent bastard.
I think you forget where you are, you fucking immigrant.
Oh, beauty is a beguiling call to death and I'm addicted to the sweet pitch of its siren.
This is my land. It's my fucking show.
I run this town.
Ah! Fuck!
Ah! God! Ah!
That that starts sweet ends bitter.
And that which starts bitter ends sweet.
I have to go now, Lenny.
I am having lunch with the Councillor, your councilor.
This, as you know, is the ninth hole.
And it's a long crawl back to your car.
You should make it by sunrise, just in time to bring me my lucky picture.
I want it back.
Do you hear me?
- Yes, yes, oh, God. -Times change.
Goodbye, Lenny.
That is why you and I love the drugs...
...and that is also why I cannot give that painting back.
Now, please, pass me a light.
Oh, you are something special, Mr. Johnny Quid.
Fucking junkies. You're fucking useless.
I don't want your sort in here.
Get up out of here. Fuck off.
- Go piss off out the door. - Get off.
- Go on, fuck off. - I'll buy this place.
Fuck off, you junkie.
- You won't be able to catch me, fat boy. - Stay out and fuck off.
Ooh.
Is that you, Bertie?
What's happening about that drink?
What's happening about that paperwork?
Well, I'm busy tonight, but Monday looks good.
I'll leave the papers at my reception under your name.
Text you the address.
Well, I'll pop around in a jiffy, and I'll see you on Monday.
You are scary good at that.
- Do you miss it? - Shut up, Bob, or I'll slap you.
All right, let's go pick up the paperwork from your boyfriend.
And drop me off on the way, huh?
I'm going back to bed.
Can I come?
- Moron, what do you think you're doing? - What, John?
Letting creatures in my yard without my consent.
John, they're good stuff. Scotch and Cockney.
Like the drink and the sparrow.
I am Malcolm, and this is my friend and colleague Paul.
You know, like the Christian saint.
Paul doesn't say much. He's too busy thinking deep thoughts.
Come on, John. We know you.
We're big fans.
You're what they call a real RocknRolla.
Out, on your way. Bon voyage and fuck off.
What is this, a sit-down? A fucking demo?
This is a demonstration, a demonstration of peace.
Where the fuck did you find these two junkies?
Conference, kazi, now.
That's the last time I'm having you take the piss, Pete.
Next time, you're on your own.
I'm sorry.
I just thought that you might've liked a bit of company.
I'm dead, Pete. What does that tell you?
It tells you that dead people don't like company.
- Now, jog them on. - All right, I'll tell them to leave.
Yes, you fucking well will. Smelly junkies.
Meeting adjourned.
You've scared them off, sing-along.
But with a welcome like that, it's not all that shocking.
Lucky you're not following them, Pete.
Pete, where's the painting?
Good shot. Good shot.
It's the werewolf brothers.
What you got for us today, boys? Anything good?
Paul, please exhibit to the audience the fine artifact.
Gentlemen, we are entering the realm...
...of the ancient art form of paint on canvas.
I'll have it. How much?
One moment, sir. There's a pitch which comes with this painting.
I don't want the pitch. I said I'll have it.
It's a very rare and expensive painting, sir.
Is it?
There you go, boys. Have a week in the snow.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. It's been a pleasure.
Come on, me man. Hey.
Tank, what is it? I'm in a bit of a rush.
- You owe me, Arch. - Oh, yeah?
First, I found your painting. Now I found out who's been taking Lenny's money.
Mr. Darcy.
Well, don't fuck about. Who is it?
"Let myself in. Thought your lady might like the painting.
Love, Cookie."
- Hello? - It's me.
- Who's me? - Me.
Ah.
Well, what do you want?
You.
Oh.
Well, you better come in, then.
- Yup? - We found out about our informer.
I've got it in my hand right now.
The informer, the one who's responsible for all the time we've been seeing.
- All of them, including mine. - Well, who is it, then?
Who the fuck is Sidney Shaw?
No, Sidney Shaw is a pseudonym, you idiot.
They never use their real name.
Look, get around here and let me have a look, okay?
All right.
Where did he learn a word like pseudonym?
Look at you, huh? Good as new.
I have to go now.
So you fancy sharing some dancing lessons with me later on in the week?
A bit of the old salsa?
I'll take you up on that.
- Oh, I have something for you. - Uh-huh.
Thought you might like it because I know how much you like paintings and all.
So you like it?
You've got very good taste, Mr. One Two.
Oh...
- What's happened, Len? - Well, they broke my leg in four places.
Didn't you hear?
That bastard's made me limp for the rest of my days.
What do you want me to do?
Well, I need that painting, Arch.
- I need it real bad. - I'll get that for you, don't you worry.
- I think I can do better than that. - What?
Someone has been at the Russian's money. Couple of silly gunslingers.
- Well, who? - You know them.
- You don't like them either. - I'm not playing fucking games here, Arch.
Who is it?
Mumbles, Bob and One Two.
- So why did you call, Johnny? - Sorry, Johnny's not here.
But the pipe is.
And the pipe says Johnny heard you were in trouble, boys.
Whoever we're talking to, will you please relay the message to Johnny?
Tell him that his dad, his jack-in-the-box- surprise, gangster daddy, paid us a visit.
Shut down a few of our venues.
Intends to shut down a few more unless Mr. Quid puts in an appearance.
Why are you talking to the pipe, Roman? You're madder than I am.
Come back, Johnny. Come back home.
Now, Johnny will come quietly...
...but you may have a couple of problems with the pipe.
Buy us both a cup of tea.
No need for any noise, we'll let Pete sleep on.
Is this a bad time, One Two?
I mean, we can always come back a bit later.
You wanna take the stairs or the elevator, Mr. Cole?
Bandy, come here.
- You been drinking? - No, Mr. Cole.
Think before you drink, before you drive me mad.
- Hello, Len, it's me. - Archy.
I've got the boys wrapping up One Two in a carpet now.
Get over here.
- Yeah, I'll be around in a little bit. - Good.
Hold on.
- Who's there? - One Two, it's us.
Come up.
And it looks like I'll be bringing the others and all.
Not too bright this lot, are they? Hold on.
Look, I gotta go, got another call. Fucking hell, it's all go on this job.
- Hello? - Archy, we got your boy.
What's left of him.
You might wanna hose him down. He smells like a rotten goat.
Uri.
Da, Uri, I'm sorry.
- But I still don't like it. - I don't care what you like, Victor.
I'm in charge. Now, wait here.
Your last girl cost us 20 million. One before, even more.
God knows how much this one will cost us.
Victor, you're so cheap.
Can I come in?
Sorry to surprise you, but I have something for you.
A token of my appreciation.
What's this for?
Please do not be insulted but you have come to mean a lot to me...
...and I value much more than just your service.
This is simply just a reflection of my appreciation.
I would like to ask you something personal.
Would you marry me?
Well, I think I might need a couple of days.
Just to think about it.
Well, sure. Of course.
Sorry.
Not now, Victor, I'm busy.
A very nice painting.
How long have you had it?
Years. Do you like it?
Beauty's a cruel mistress, is it not?
Victor, please come to join us.
Hello, Arch.
Shrouded and tied, just like the old days.
What is it today? The rack?
The garrote? Or is it the old drowning-in-crayfish trick?
You're still full of hot air, Johnny.
You're looking a bit down.
Has that old clown been working you long hours?
You always were loyal. There's no dog like a loyal dog.
- Watch your mouth, John. - Look at him, boys.
Scary, ain't he?
Well, that's what four years inside does to a man.
It eats away at his soul...
...and when it's all gone, it makes a man quite scary.
You ever wonder how you got in there? What grass informed on you?
Hello, Archy.
Hey, Johnny boy. Look at you.
Look at this, Dave. Don't you look the part.
Show us your guns, Uncle Arch. I told the boys all about it.
Don't be cheeky. Get in the car.
Give us your money.
Give us that, in the car.
Be good boys...
...because you never know who's watching.
So who we got in there, then? Anyone I know?
Anyone famous?
Handsome Bob.
Mumbles, One Two.
I bet you could operate a nice gas shower.
I could see you with a couple of S's on your collar.
- Stiff goose in your step. - Shut it, or you will get hurt.
That, Roman and Mickey, is the famous Archy slap.
You shut it.
Or I'll do you myself, you poisonous little toad.
Don't hurt me, Arch. I'm only little.
Get out.
- Roll them out. - Daddy.
Nice wheels.
Sorry about the painting.
I needed the cash for a bit of the old dusty show biz.
So it's gone now.
Lost to the world of degenerate, stoned no-hopers.
Never to be seen again by the eye of a clean soul.
What are you, boy, if you are not poison?
Your dad couldn't even bear to look at you.
So no wonder he fucked off and left me to pick up the pieces.
But that wasn't enough for you.
You had to push your mom into a bottle of pills...
...and a house full of nutters.
And all she got there was a hot bath and a cold razor.
Why?
Because you're poison, John, that's why.
What can I say?
I'm a junkie, crackhead, no-gooder.
You should never have wasted your money on that school.
Archy, get him out of here.
I've had enough of him.
I don't trust myself. Use someone else.
It's a gathering. I love a gathering.
Look. It's Mumbles, One Two.
Handsome Bob, all the old faces today.
And it was all going so well.
Except for Archy.
Had to ruin the day.
I was gonna tell him a story about you, Daddy.
I thought I'd tell him the story about how you grassed him up.
Whoa, fuck!
Fucking hell, Len. Calm down.
Now, give us that.
That wasn't one of your best shots, was it now, Daddy?
If you wanted to shut me up, it should've been higher.
- Danny, come here. - You're only 6 feet away.
Come here.
You get rid of him, Danny, you understand?
Get rid of him.
You don't know how much trouble you've caused...
...but please understand that I will kill you very slowly...
...if you don't tell me where my...
Hey, Archy.
The address is in my jacket.
I wouldn't mess you around, Archy, it's in my jacket.
What does it say?
You want to know what it says, Len?
Funny thing about the law, it can be quite flexible.
Because every time an informer...
...finds himself in front of a judge, a secret letter...
...stands witness as to the cooperation and efficiency...
...of that informer.
And if that informer provides adequate information...
...then that dog of dogs is magically released.
A sort of get-out-of-jail-free card.
And it comes with a very good alibi.
Now, you give us the names of the people you want put down...
...and we'll get them the long sentences.
You can appear to reduce those terms through your contacts.
We'll make you look like a fucking guardian angel to the underworld.
Trusted throughout.
The only evidence that will ever remain of this deal...
...comes in the form of a very exclusive...
...and hard-to-come-by legal document called a secret dept.
As in deposition or handlers sheet.
Of course, the informer always uses a false name.
What name do you like?
- Johnny? - Tommy?
You can have Elvis fucking Presley if you fancy.
But I've seen this name many times over the last 20 years.
And I always wondered...
Who is this Sidney Shaw, Len?
Nothing to do with you.
- What name do you like the sound of? - I like Sidney.
I like the sound of that.
Sidney Shaw. Sounds a bit like an actor.
You're free to go, Mr. Sidney Shaw.
No, they're setting me up, Archy.
You are a very dirty bastard, Sidney.
You are a very dirty bastard indeed.
Cut that lot free, get them out of here now.
No need to worry just yet, fellas.
Nothing's gonna happen while we're standing in the lift.
They'd have to carry the corpses over to the cars...
...and that's too much like hard work.
In about two minutes from now, when we're all walking along happily...
...Danny boy over there is gonna turn and pop me two in the head.
Then one in the throat just to be sure.
You shouldn't have brought me here, fellas.
You're just gonna end up as witnesses.
Once they've "dealt" with us...
...they're gonna put our corpses in the boot of a stolen car...
...and pour 6 gallons of petrol on top.
I can let your imagination fill in the rest.
But see now, Danny boy is rattled.
Because he knows that you know.
So he's gonna fire.
Mickey, pass me the gun.
Quickly. Quickly, Mickey.
Don't worry, he can't defend himself, he's got no head.
May I please have some help, fellas?
Put your fucking hands up.
I think we should get out of here, don't you, John?
Make the deal, come on.
Turn them in. It's not like the first time you done it, is it?
Michael Finny, 10 years.
- Fred the Head. - Fred the Head.
Give him a five, for a bank job he's about to pull.
Here's the time and here's the place.
Frazier Nash, 15 years.
One Two, just a two-stretch to calm the flash fucker down.
Cousin Ronnie got six years because of you, you bastard.
Mumbles thinks he's a clever boy, so give him a three.
Byron Dexter, eight years.
The Jew twins, 14 years.
Archy, he's as loyal as a dog, but he's getting a bit greedy. Four years.
Four years for Archy.
And of course me, Archy, four long fucking years.
There is no spring without a winter.
No life without death.
And the demise of Lenny has blown a new season...
...into the lungs of young Johnny.
Goodbye, Mr. Sidney Shaw.
Well, it looks like that clinic sorted you right out, Johnny boy.
You feeling better?
Well, I was. Until I saw youse twos.
I'm clean now. Straight, I gave it all up.
All but these little bastards.
Come on, give us a cuddle.
Welcome home.
- Give us your money, Arch. - No, I can do better than that.
Turbo, show him his welcome-home present.
What, you got me another coffin?
Goodbye, cruel world.
Now, I know how much you like the art, I thought that would look good on your wall.
Someone's been telling you stories, Arch.
Now, that must've been expensive.
As it happens, it did cost a very wealthy Russian an arm and a leg.
I see your music's back in the charts.
Well, that was when I was a RocknRolla.
Why, what you gonna be now, John?
You wanna watch out...
...because I'm gonna be just like you, uncle.
Now I'm gonna be a real RocknRolla.